Father,
Word's can't express what I'm feeling right now. I have never in my life understood your death like I saw on the screen tonight. My mouth dropped as I saw your face brutally beat, and your back torn to shreds. I never can imagine the pain that you went through for me. The crown of thorns, carrying the cross, piercing of the side. Father worlds don't do you justice. Nothing does. I wanted to cry , but was mostly left with disbelief that you went through such pain. Why Father? Just so that you can know us? How could I not want to follow you. After all that you have done. All that you would go through, just for me, you even said Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing, after all the abuse, ridicule, and pain, you still in the heat of the moment had compassion on those that beat you. Me father, you had compassion on me. You loved me like none other. I believe I got to understand your live for me that you loved me that much. Oh father how I wish I could have walked with you, but I'm sure I have it even better because you live inside of me. I don't have to watch you, I get to let you use me for your kingdom. Father how could I not trust you with me life? After watching such a thing, I never should think twice about letting you lead me. All you want to do is love me and for me to love you. I look forward to growing in our relationship father, getting to know and understand you even better. I love you father and thank you for showing me a glimpse, yes I believe it was only a glimpse of how much you really do love me. Father I will never understand or know. I'm not capable, but I want so much to know you. Help me think of you father and remember what you went through for me, when I complain about it being hard. I would go through it all father just to know you. I sit and watch your disciples run and ask myself if I would? No, father, I wouldn't. That is how much I want to love you. I want to be like the one that didn't leave. I want to trust you as you have called me to do. Father, let me let you do your work. Thank you for your message father. Your love is amazing, powerful, poetic, and forever. I want you to call me friend as you did your disciples. Thank you for letting me see what I did tonight and pierce my heart with it father. Help it to leave an impression that changes my view of your love for me.
2/25/04
