Deserve it?

I can't help but wonder when I receive something, something like a house, new refrigerator, washer and dryer, that I'm not worthy to have something so nice. To walk into my bedroom, yes my own "master bedroom" with the heat blowing at a comfortable setting, walk into my own bathroom with more space than some bedrooms, pull my own shades that fill my windows, sit in my own living room looking at my stair way that leads up to another part of the house. This can't really be mine. I have a garage, a backyard, a kitchen, 4 bedrooms, a house. One thing I struggle with is the ability to enjoy some of God's gifts. No i don't consider myself someone who hates having nice things, or comforts, but I really struggle when it comes to having things that I did nothing for. I always seem to be wanting to "pay back" God for what he is doing. Knowing full well the arrogance and stupidity that goes with that sort of mindset. Of course I can't offer anything to Christ. It is fullish and dangerous to even thing I could. The alter is closed and if it wasn't my gifts or little "sacrifices" ( i hate to even use the word) would never measure up to the gift of God's son. But for some reason, my mindset, my habit, my response, is always to want to pay back, think I shouldn't have it, or to not let myself enjoy it. I don't fully bask in the sunlight of the gifts of God's mercy and grace like I should. That whole "joy" thing I struggle with. Not that I don't want it, but I'm understanding how much I don't deserve it. It is hard to tell a driven, dedicated, narrow minded, passionate human that his doing, his input, his efforts are like "filthy rags" to what Christ has done. My mind constantly, without even my desire to do so, will go back to repayment. It's hard to believe the story about the prodigal son. Rings? Feast? The best robe? The kingdom? No way! He deserves nothing, yes, but Christ gives him all? My feeble mind can't seem to grasp how that is true. I know it is but, it sounds better than it is. Maybe that is my arrogance of experiencing the grace of Christ for so long in my life? For thinking that I have lived a life that is worthy of acceptance or honor. How blind am I to think that it's good enough for such a position. I really do believe sometimes that I could run through that brick wall and live up to the kingdom standard. My arrogance, my weakness, really stands in the way of so much of life that I'm missing. It's proof that it will never be enough. It's proof that I'll spend my whole life trying to live up to a something that will never be mine, if it's up to me.

I struggle with enjoyment. Really enjoying anything. I'm not sure the mindset that I took into my athletic life has really ruined it for me in the days after all that was gone. It's hard to convince an athlete that he doesn't measure up. It's hard to convince an athlete that he gets to play even when he doesn't practice. That he gets to start even though he never did any extra. Those who work are the ones who play. Those who work harder than the others will succeed. Those who work extra will be rewarded. Those who do just a little more will be acknowledged.

When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win.--Ed Macauley

So when it comes to the time of being given something when you know you didn't work for it, when you know you don't deserve it, it's hard to accept it. The crazy thing is, is that, that is exactly what the whole Christian thing is about. We deserve nothing but hell. Period. Yet Christ comes to send his only son, Jesus, to save us from our sins and eternal damnation being separated from God. Then turns around and blesses us with more than we could deserve while on earth. Love, family, health, jobs, kids, friends, cars, houses, money, cash, etc...We don't deserve any of it. I don't feel this way about all of these. Which is even worse, that I feel I deserve some of these, but not all of them. But when it comes to such wonderful gifts, I miss out on the gift. I think I have to repay, or even worse, wait for it to be taken from me. (Al la, baseball). Maybe its a safety thing I've done. Maybe it's a way that I have set myself up to protect myself from not experiencing anything great, because I'm afraid of losing it. Kind of like never loving, for fear of being rejected, never taking a risk in fear of losing, never stepping out of the boat, for fear of failing. Maybe this is my way of protecting myself from closing my hand too tight on the "stuff" of this world. So if I lose it, then it will be easier for me to say see God, I didn't love it more than you. Or maybe I know myself to well to not protect myself. But really I miss out completely on the experience, the moment, because I"m fearful my part won't be enough. I'm starting to realize that I can't do enough to pay him back, so I've reverted to not enjoying it. Not letting myself receiving what is being given for fear of it being taken way and crying over it. Or even worse fearing that I'll want that more than I want Christ. I've seemed to get this all jacked up. God help me!

JTH

Impact

After attending a rally for a new school year I left feeling sad about where our education is going. While working for one of the top school districts in the state of Texas I am well aware of the passion these people have for education and the children at large. But one thing I failed to see was the true impact, the impact that matters. The event started out with the typical hoopla that most female driven events consists of. Lots of cheering and clapping, noise makers, pom-poms. We watched a well made video of students from the past year make remarks about their teachers and what they helped them accomplish. The video was filled with words like success, accomplish, dedication,and make a difference. But let me ask you this. How in the world will we make any difference in the world of a child, if they don't know who made that change possible. All this change and improvement of self and desire to be successful is all good in well, if it's not taken out of context. The true success lies in nothing you do or accomplish. No change matters outside of what God does. Without the recognition of the giver of the change, the maker of the success, you have a self-centered, self-reliant, self-dependent person who thinks they really can do all this on their own. I watched one of the parents on the video tell their child (3rd Grader), who suffers from dyslexia, that he could be anything he wanted to be. There is no truth in that statement at all. What happens if what he wanted to be all his life, he fails to become? Then what? What about all that success, and accomplishment talk.

It's terribly sad and heart wrenching to see how far God has been removed from our educational world. We don't have to wait for "One Nation Under God" to be taken away, to finally strip God from our schools. He already has been. This will just add to the arrogance of our children along with our teachers about the impact they make or hope to make some day. I believe it no coincidence that today on my way to work I was listening to John Piper who had this to say. "Just think of the massive rebellion in public education where Christ is never brought into relationship to all the thoughts that come from him, are held by him, lead to him and it is all denied. I tell you it is one massive miracle of grace that we breath another breath."--The Deep Riches and Wisdom and Knowledge of God Part 2 August 7, 2007
All the motivation sounds great and can inspire you and make you feel as if you can change the world. But I come to find that that isn't true, at least in the context we present it in. I hear nothing of a higher power here. I hear nothing of relying upon someone else for strength. All I hear is you can make an impact in a young child's life. Tell those students they can be anything they want to be. Lie straight to their face and make sure you don't stand in the way of their self-esteem or tell them they can't make it in this world without a savior. We are creating a future of self-reliance and finding the power within. No wonder adults grow up to think that they have the power within themselves to accomplish something or conquer some fear or dream. Anything outside the grace and blessing of Christ is sandy ground. Then we see the disaster of what happens when they don't get their way. Any school teacher can tell you what this looks like.
Sure the children may succeed at making something of themselves in this world. We may help them along to gain earthly treasures and earthly accolades. They may feel good about the success they're experiencing or the impact that they have amongst their peers, but someday this will light the eternal flame of hell. It will all be cast aside and then what? What will they be left with? What will they have to stand on? Who will they rely on and trust when they find out they can't trust themselves? They must learn to lean upon the Savior for their eternal destination. But what is scary is that we are teaching the next generation the exact opposite. We are telling them that they have everything inside of them they will need in this life. We are telling our students over and over that they are in control of their lives. That they choose what their path looks like. That whatever you desire you can achieve. You have it in you, you just have to dig deep. There is no mention of God and his sovereignty over our lives. Their is no mention that their degree along with their accomplishments will someday be cast aside and worthless.

The only impact these students can have on this world is an impact backed by Jesus. Without the acknowledgment of his presence and his guidance and direction, we are lost. We are sheep without a Shepherd. The only impact that will matter one day is if Jesus made an impact on our heart. Was he more precious than that degree, or that success. Without this, all these desires and words sound nice, but what a wasted life spent gathering storehouses that you can't take with you. How sad to think that our kids spend 8 hours a day being told that they are little "gods" and all of life is at their fingertips. I'm sorry to say, not all of life, but all of eternity separated from Christ is what this road leads to.

Oh, but what a wonderful impact that can be made for this world for those that trust in another for their success, for their meaning, and for their direction in life. That person being Jesus, God's son. All real, true, meaningful impacts are made at the backdrop of eternity, not in a godless school room.

JTH

Never Enough

The constant desire to prove something to Christ can bring such a death grip upon the satisfaction that God desires for us to have with being Sons and Daughters of the King.

It's hard growing up being told that you can be whatever you want to be, it's just left up to you. Your life is basically in your hands. What you do with it is your choice and your fault. Whatever the outcome was because your lack of effort or you were just screwed. The things we tell our young ones can shape the views for eternity if we are not careful. Oh thank you for a sovereign God. How he can take the mistakes of our parents and turn them into good. So this whole thing about being part of a savior who justifies me and finds no sin on my behalf because of the gift that He choose to give me by dieing on the cross. So what does that mean? It truly sounds to good to be true, even for a kid who grew up in the church and sat in the pew every sunday and heard the stories of this creator who came to save the lost. The Lord chose to reveal himself to me at a very young age.  I don' t remember much about it but I know something struck me that day at Vacations bible School. It was a real as the day, but what I learned afterwards has been the hardest thing for me to grasp. I was told that you can do anything you set your mind to. If you want to make it, then put in the work, keep working when everyone else is playing and enjoying and make yourself a slave to proving your good enough to make it. One thing this created in me was sense of pride. I was working while everyone else was playing. I was dedicated and desereved my success while everyone else didn't because they didn't work hard enough. I wasn't going to let anyone else out work me. I took Colosions 3:23 to heart. Whatever you are doing put your whole heart into it as if you were doing it for the Lord and not for man. It kind of okayed what I was doing. I was able to put a stamp of proof on my efforts and feel good about them. It aloud me to sin basically. After all that whole mess ended, then I was left with this incredible sense of pride and anger. No one worked as hard as me, but I realized it didn't matter. I put in the most work and was still treatly unjustly, and unfairly. I didn't desereve that to happen. I worked. I was dedicated, I was only thinking about myself. Not realizing this at the time, but it created such a sense of selfishness and self consciencenesss. All my days were focused on my path, my greatness, and my worthiness. Yes, I still considered myself a chrsitian at this time. Althought my theology was completely wrong and really lacking. What was is that took me so far away from what truly mattered. Oh how enticing the self is, the promotion, the pursuit of excellence is to a human. The worst part is yet to come. I took all this knowledge and started to put my works against the back drop of the Jesus' death on the cross. Oh yeah, I show you I'm worth it. I'll show you I deserve to be saved. I'll do my part to make. Sound like a modern day Pharisee to anyone? Oh, but it looked good on the outside. Nevermind the Holy Spirit. I'll do it my self through my own power. The crazy thing is that I knew that. I knew it was by my own power. I kept falling into this rut of I've got to be doing something. So an extreme type of personalitiy came about, cupled with pride and self-arogance and self-conscience. What an ugly sense of selfishness that is hidden to the outside world, yet is permeated with all your actions, thoughts, and decisions. I started to make decisios based on my duty to Christ. He died for me, I was realizing he called me to a different life, a selfless life, a life that wasn't about this world, a life that was about him. Okay. I have the knowledge. I'll do it. I 'll sell my car, I'll live on a budget, I'll read books and listen to sermons. But for what reason? To look good, to show God that I'm doing my part, that I'm worthy of his salvation. Hello, am I looking in the mirror at all. Do I know my sin at all. What sort of example is that. I always used to marvel at the fact that Christ was loved by the sinners yet hated by those that knew the laws. How in the world does that happen? Because my life looks nothing like that. I've become so critical of people and hard on others that it looks like I'm the judge. Looks like I'm the one in charge and perfect. Another part of my destructed view of Christ. Because I was always so entharalled with being the best, I wanted to be the best for God. I wanted to run through that brick wall for Christ. I tried to go to the extreme with everything about him, really doing, doing, doing. Sound like Martha and Mary to anyone. The standards I hold are so high for others. I wanted to go to the extremes for Christ. I'll not watch TV. I'll quit my job. I'll sell everything I own and go do missions somewhere where there is poverty.  But then what? I know that wouldn't be enough, that wouldn't be near as far as God would take me, I mean He is God. He would want me to go even further. And all in the back of my head having great pride in myself, looking at my friends and family saying how pitiful they are that they don't get it like I had something to do with it. God must be calling me to something bigger. How scary to think that I would only have a small part in the story. My part has to be bigger than that. Come on God, that's it. You mean you might just want me to be a school teacher and live in McKinney Texas all my life, with the commoners. Nah. there has to be more, your bigger than that. I can't be compeltly unncessasary to God can I. He needs me right, for a big part. sounds kind of like i'm deserving of this stuff or at least thhat is what I think I was trying to do. What guilt this brings about when you think this way. You are never satisfied, never resting, my burden is light and my yoke is easy, yeah right. Come on. This is hard, this sucks. Live through the holy spirit. Rely on Chirst, what in the world does that mean? How do you do that?  I've got to be doing something, right? I do the changing, right? Who in the world would ever want to follow a God like mine with this kind of view. Sounds like some of the other religions I know. How could that be, that is almost completely opposite of what Chirst came to do. No rest at all, never enough time in the day to do, do, do. My life doesn't look like it's saved, like the battle has been won. I'll tell you what this leads to. A life that eventually breaks down. A life that eventually falls into tiredness, sickness, and death. Slave to the law, slave to my worth in my own self. What a slap in the face to God. Oh forgive me father. Am I doing, choosing, speaking out of duty or out of love. What is my motive, for It won't be blessed by God if its wrong. More books, more sermons, more verses, your never doing enough. God is going to show you who you really are. If you want to be used he is going to break you until you realize what you really are. That you aren't capable. That you have to take a back seat to his journey. That even your good deeds are like fitlthy rags to him. Tired yet!

"The worst tragedy would be to turn the Sermon on the Mount into another form of legalism; it should rather put an end to all legalism. Legalism like the Pharisees' will always fail, not because it is too strict but because it is not strict enough. Thunderously, inarguably, the Sermon on the Mount proves that before God we all stand on level ground: murderers and temper-throwers, adulterers and lusters, theieves and coveters. We are all desperate, and that is the fact the only state appropriate to a human being who wants to know God. Having fallen from the absolute Ideal, we have nowwhere to land but in the safety net of absolute grace."--Philip Yancy, The Jesus I Never Knew

JTH

A Vapor

Jesus Christ is most glorified in you in your dying when you are most satisfied in him in your dying. -John Piper

I watched something happen last night that I never gave much thought to. I saw a man take his last breath as he escaped into eternity forever. It was a 74 year old man who had family and friends gathered around, with loud music, food fit for a king, free liquor, and a country band to dance the night away with. That is exactly what he was doing, as he took his last breath here on earth. Dancing with his daughter, living it up, having fun, then he hit the floor. What ensued next was something I will never forget. I got to watch life, real life happen right before my eyes. It is stuff like this that we don't get to see everyday here in America. We don't have to worry about bombs dropping on our heads as we get into our air conditioned cars and stroll on our merry way. We don't have to worry about the common cold taking a loved one. But when the Lord says it's over it is over. Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. (James 4:14). Our life here on earth really is short. At the backdrop of eternity we last as long as the steam does that rises off the broccoli. This event reminded me of our world and the attention that we give to this short life. We invest so much of our efforts into this life and yet we forget to realize that eternity if forever. How much time do we give to thinking about what happens after the broccoli cools off and the steam vanishes? Then what? Do you think about death? Do I? We are encouraged to do so. It is better to spend more time at funerals than at festivals. For you are going to die and you should think about it while there is still time (Ecclesiastes 7:2). Death is something that we all must face. It is one thing we can not escape and and one of the curses of sin. We are fatal, breaking down, and we all will one day take our last breath. We don't have a choice. We will exist forever. The decisions we make in this life determine the life to come. Thought it is not by works that we are saved, it is by the grace of Christ and his risen son that we, wretched and sinful, are able to step into eternity, clean and spotless, because of what Jesus did on the cross, bearing our sins and our iniquities for us. Taking our punishment for us, so that we could live with him forever.

One thing is for sure. We as people and especially as Americans are very arrogant. We hardly ever think about the possibility that our last breath might be tomorrow or even today. We spend so much time thinking about the future as if we had a right to it. As if we deserved it. We talk with such assurance that this or that will or won't happen. Even in our very speech it pours out. But I'm reminded of what James says the verse before when he talks about our lives being a like a vapor. Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"-- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16 ESV).

Oh how precious life is. Life is not ours for the taking, we are just entrusted with one. It is God who directs our ways and gives us the breath that we take. We truly aren't in control, no matter how much society wants to tell us so. We must rely on God to give us all that we need. We must trust that our time to leave this earth is the right time. Even on the eve of a wedding for your granddaughter. As much as we may wish or even of been led to believe for that matter. God is not as interested in bringing glory to his children, as he is in bringing glory to himself. God is all about making much of himself. And as awkward as that may seem to us in our feeble human minds, it's true. That's why at the most awkward time God may move. He may change our plans, bless or harm, and even take a life at the most unpredictable times. Yet as believers we have the pleasure and comfort that God works all things out for our good. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) How amazing is that!

One day It could be my family that is faced with an event like this. It will happen, we can't escape it. My wife and I will have to come to grips that that could be us. God may separate us by death earlier than we would have wanted. How will we react? Will we trust him then? Death must be talked about, thought about and eternally accepted. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV. More than anything we must trust that his plan is the best plan. Our plan doesn't matter. We have to want what he wants. For we are only part of the story, not the story entirely. We were designed to bring glory to the maker, not glory to ourselves. This calling can bring about some radical events in our lives. Are we ready?

I love this excerpt from John Piper after two important people in his church were suddenly faced with death.

Dear friends, God is speaking to us all in these sudden, unexpected and painful departures. Are you listening? I said to my family tonight during devotions: it could as easily have been me. Or you. Are we ready? O Bethlehem, are we ready? Do we trust him? Do we love him? Do we live for him? Is he our Love above all loves? Pursue him and know him. Live with him as if tomorrow you might meet him face to face. One of the texts we lingered over was Psalm 116:15, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." Another meaning of the Hebrew word behind "precious" is "costly." Both are true. To us, so costly. To God, so precious. Why so precious? One reason is that God gave his own Son to die for Muriel and Carl. When Christ died, their death was defeated. "O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:55, KJV). In other words, because of Christ's suffering and the Father's sacrifice, the death of Muriel and Carl was robbed of its victory. This means that the death of every saint is a demonstration to all creation that Christ's atoning death was gloriously successful. It was not in vain. Therefore, the arrival of every saved saint in heaven is another trumpet-tribute to the preciousness of Christ's life and death on this earth. He must (it seems to me) take each one by the hand, as it were, and lead the saint to the Father, and say, "Look! Another trophy! Another 'fruit of my travail.' Another sinner saved and soul made perfect. O Father, look what we have wrought! Is this not precious!"

So how can we magnify God with our death? Peter was killed on an upside down cross to bring glory to the Father. What could God possibly have in store for me and my death? If I want my life to glorify God, then what might he have for me in my death? If we want the world to look at our life and see how much we love our God and truly taste and see him as far greater than anything earthly pleasure than may we echo what Paul says that "to live is Christ but to die is gain." For this to be true, Christ must be valued more than anything we leave behind. Oh what a statement we would be telling the world.

I'll close with these words from John Piper. How comforting to remember, how humbling to know.

The Son of God is not a vapor. He is solid reality, with no beginning and no ending. His name is Jesus Christ. He is the same yesterday and today and forever. He looked His disciples in the eye and said without irony or exaggeration, “Before Abraham was, I am.” But what about us? Once we were not, and now we exist? ...For how long? Forever. Either in heaven or in hell. There is no going out of existence. For that would not be joy for those who love God nor punishment for those who don’t.

The Valley of Vision

Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.


Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.

Anything You Want To Be?

I was thinking the other day about a common phrase that we tell our young children today: "You can be anything you want to be!" It's funny that we tell our children that even though I'm not sure we could be lying to them. Let me plead my case. From early on we encourage our children to pursue greatness. We say things like:
"Reach for the stars"

"Put your mind to it and you will succeed."

"Don't let anyone stand in your way."

"Don't let anyone tell you you aren't good enough." and the one that sparked this whole thought "You can be anything you want to be!" I, being very passionate about what I do, feel head over heals in love with the statement, work hard enough and you will get there. Put in your time and you will reap the rewards. The cream always rises to the top. Yet, so far in my life, I'm seeing something awfully different. I'm not so sure that this is unbiblical and not a wise thing to tell our children.

First, let me state that the development of a children's work ethic and dedication to what he does is of utmost importance. Colossians 3:23 states "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" Whatever your hand finds to do, do it well. That isn't my point though. I guess I'm asking why waste your time doing what won't have lasting importance? Why set your kids up to believe what probably wasn't even true for you as a child? Not that we should keep our children from failing, or falling, but giving them the rock bottom understanding that life as christian doesn't always measure up to what we were told we could be someday. I don't hear any submission in those all to common phrases. How does a child learn to submit to God's plan. We start with the attitude that it is all about our wanting and our desires, and our will when the christian life has nothing to do with that. It is the exact opposite. Christ tells us to die to ourselves. And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

I love how the Message puts it: Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I'm leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn't, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God." Luke 9:23-27

I'm sure just like a lot of things we say as Christians, we don't really mean it that way. Just like "Good Luck", "Knock on Wood", "It's my destiny", etc... are some of the common things I'm not so sure we should be saying. It seems to me that we leave out the sovereignty of God when we say things like of this sort. I do believe we should be careful of the words that we say. They do mean something, usually a feeling or a mindset about a situation. If you truly believed that God had everything under his control and that everything passes through his hands, then why in the world would we tell our children "don't say that, or it might come true." How arrogant are we?

I suggest this. Maybe we should push our kids to understand God. Understand how He works, how He operates, what He wants for us. We need to train our kids from the early stages that it isn't about them. They aren't the authors of their story, no matter what the world tells you. God is the creator and giver of life. He is sovereign and in control of all things. "But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honored use and another for dishonorable use?" Romans 9:20-21 He has a plan that you would not go after the things of this world and would turn to Him to supply you with all you need. To die to ourselves daily and fight through that struggle everyday. To do exactly the opposite of what they see on television everyday. It's not about what you want to be. That is so sinful it isnt funny. All that will get you is joylessness, even if you somehow reach want you wanted to be. It won't ever make you truyly joyful, so why waste your life going after it. Do we see enough about what getting everything you want on this earth can do. The damage it can bring your self as well as others around you. Just turn on the television and you'll see the destruction that Satan is causing. All the money in the world and the most unhappy people you will ever find. I'm coming to realize that the Christian life is about stripping yourself of the pleasure of this world because of the pleasures that are to come. "For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:14 Deny the flesh, the desires, fighting the American dream, giving of yourself, wanting what God wants. Then our children will find true happiness. Not pain, not mediocrity, not comfort, but joy true joy.

JTH

The Passion

Father,

Word's can't express what I'm feeling right now. I have never in my life understood your death like I saw on the screen tonight. My mouth dropped as I saw your face brutally beat, and your back torn to shreds. I never can imagine the pain that you went through for me. The crown of thorns, carrying the cross, piercing of the side. Father worlds don't do you justice. Nothing does. I wanted to cry , but was mostly left with disbelief that you went through such pain. Why Father? Just so that you can know us? How could I not want to follow you. After all that you have done. All that you would go through, just for me, you even said Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing, after all the abuse, ridicule, and pain, you still in the heat of the moment had compassion on those that beat you. Me father, you had compassion on me. You loved me like none other. I believe I got to understand your live for me that you loved me that much. Oh father how I wish I could have walked with you, but I'm sure I have it even better because you live inside of me. I don't have to watch you, I get to let you use me for your kingdom. Father how could I not trust you with me life? After watching such a thing, I never should think twice about letting you lead me. All you want to do is love me and for me to love you. I look forward to growing in our relationship father, getting to know and understand you even better. I love you father and thank you for showing me a glimpse, yes I believe it was only a glimpse of how much you really do love me. Father I will never understand or know. I'm not capable, but I want so much to know you. Help me think of you father and remember what you went through for me, when I complain about it being hard. I would go through it all father just to know you. I sit and watch your disciples run and ask myself if I would? No, father, I wouldn't. That is how much I want to love you. I want to be like the one that didn't leave. I want to trust you as you have called me to do. Father, let me let you do your work. Thank you for your message father. Your love is amazing, powerful, poetic, and forever. I want you to call me friend as you did your disciples. Thank you for letting me see what I did tonight and pierce my heart with it father. Help it to leave an impression that changes my view of your love for me.

2/25/04

Flame Tempered

When God wants to drill a man, and thrill a man, and skill a man, when God wants to mold a man to play the noblest part when he yearns with all his heart to create so great and bold a man that all the world might be amazed, watch his methods watch his ways. How he ruthlessly perfects who he royally elects. How he hammers and hurt him, and mighty blows converts him in to trial shapes of clay that only God understands while his torched heart is crying and he lifts beseeching hands. How he bends but never breaks, when his good he undertakes. How he uses whom he chooses and with mighty acts he induces him, to try his splendor out God knows what he is about.

-Edwin Louis Cole

Simple Man

Here is a man who was born of Jewish parents, the child of a peasant woman. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never owned a home. He never had a family. He never put foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place where he was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but himself...

While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against him. His friends ran away. One of them denied him. He was nailed to a cross between two thieves. His executioners gambled for the only piece of property he had on earth...his coat. When he was dead, he was taken down and laid in a borrowed grave, through the pity of a friend.

Nineteen wide centuries have come and gone, and he is the centerpiece of the human race and the leader of the column of progress. I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that were built have not affected the life of man upon earth as powerfully as has that one solitary life.

Trusting God

Trust God, love people. My help and glory are in God—granite-strength and safe-harbor-God—So trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be. Psalm 62:7-8 (Message). Trusting God frees us to love people. In my opinion you can't love people if you don't love Christ first. Our lives can be filled with so many worries, our breathes are tightened with anxiety, we worry about paying off student loans, cars problem, insurance, babies, etc...Only if we would trust. Only if we would take God at his word. What freedom trusting Christ brings.

One things we often forget is that trusting Christ isn't a one time thing. You don't walk down the isle the one time, or say the prayer asking God into your heart and trusting him with our life. It isn't a one time thing. It isn't a single moment or a single day. Trusting Christ is the backbone of Christianity. It must be something that happens on a daily basis, hourly basis really. We must realizes that this fight of faith, trusting God for all that we need is how Christians make it in this life. Sure God offers the abundant life, John 10:10. But how many of us truly experience it. I believe the freedom that comes from trusting Christ allows us to have the childlike freedom that we all enjoy when we are kids. That feeling of effortless enjoyment, the kind of joy that you see when a child is mesmerized with a coloring book and crayons, or a single push in a swing.
How do we give God the glory? Trust him. How do we show others Christ? Trust him. How do we love God. Trust him. Continually trusting God with our daily needs shows the power and might of his promises.
The promises happen no matter what. But most of the time we go through everything so fast, under so much worry and everything still happens the way God wants it to, because of his sovereignty. Isaiah 44:6-7 God, King of Israel, your Redeemer, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, says: "I'm first, I'm last, and everything in between. I'm the only God there is. Who compares with me? Speak up. See if you measure up.From the beginning, who else has always announced what's coming? So what is coming next? Anybody want to venture a try? Don't be afraid, and don't worry: Haven't I always kept you informed, told you what was going on? You're my eyewitnesses: Have you ever come across a God, a real God, other than me? There's no Rock like me that I know of." We don't experience the freedom that God promises. We don't get to enjoy life like we should. It's a shame that we don't trust the creator and author of our lives. To think that we actually have something to do with how things turn out. If we would only trust him with our life, daily, not just once, we could truly love people. What freedom it takes to love people and not be so consumed with ourselves.

We can't receive the glory, nor should we if we trust Christ. He receives the glory, we receive the gift. We should nor can we act like we had anything to do with it.

"Faith, without trouble or fighting, is a suspicious faith; for true faith is a fighting, wrestling faith."
RALPH ERSKINE

"It is a sure mark of grace to desire more."
ROBERT MURRAY MCCHEYNE

JTH