I don't believe in coincidence, I don't believe in kismet, I don't believe that things just happen. I've learned to look for God's movement and grace in all things. The sooner that I can look to grace the sooner I will trust what God is doing, leave my will at his feet and begin to let go of the control that I "try" to hold on to. I heard several times from people that God uses our children to show us things. I didn't know that it would happen so soon. I've watched my little 1 month old breast feed and laugh at the fact that as her mother tries to give her what she wants, tries to provide her with the nourishment she is seeking, gives her the very thing she is wanting, but she looks for it else where. She will turn to sucking on her hand, think the nipple is lower than it is, and defiantly push her way to where she thinks she will be satisfied. It's usually not without a couple of attempts and force from mother that she gets what she is seeking, that satisfaction becomes possible. The first time I saw this my mind went to myself and my relationship with my creator. How often do I pull, turn my head, and try to find fulfillment elsewhere, thinking the whole time I know what is best. God is leading me to where I will be fulfilled, the very thing I want, and most of the time ....If Azzi would just trust that her mother knows best, is all about her joy, is on her side, that she will take care of her, give her what she needs, there wouldn't be so many struggles, so many conversations, so many spankings, so many...I was holding my little girl this morning thinking about how much I love taking care of her. How I will make sure she is taken care of, has something to eat if she is hungry, make sure she is clothed, if she is cold I'll hold her close, if she is hot I'll take the blanket off, I'm all about my daughters good. I see from a different perspective than she does. I see with better eyes, from a different vantage point. If left alone she will not survive, she is completely at my mercy, and I love that. Again, I can't help but see my relationship with the Lord in the same way. He promises to take care of me and give me what I need. Although I think I know what is best, I don't, my plans often fail and lead me towards sorrow, if I would only trust him. He created me, he sits outside of time, he knows the outcomes, he knows the end, he makes or allows all things to happen. Nothing surprises him, nothing takes him off guard. He is divinely, and supremely, unfrustrated, full of joy, orchestrating the hearts of man. Yet, I still think I know what is best and try to find my satisfaction elsewhere. How much greater is the love of our heavenly father. Us, sinful, wicked people will give our children what we need, how much more will our heavenly father take care of us, and lead us towards righteousness and joy.
JTH
